Top Ten Rules To Being A Writer

For all those lazy-assed wannabes that constantly ask me how to become a writer, here are the top ten rules you need to follow. Bear in mind that rules can always be broken, but never ignored! If you're writing poetry for pleasure or fiction for fun, hell break every damn one of them. As an amibitious writer I try to follow most of these rules, especially when that dreaded writers block disease penetrates the ole grey matter.

1. WRITE - Take pride in the fact that you wrote something. Many people dream of being writers; far fewer get around to DOING it. So, by writing anything – even if it is terrible – you have done a lot. The first step is to write. The second step is to learn to write well.

2. Distance yourself from your writing. One reason criticism of your writing can hurt so much is because you see it as an extension of yourself. Recognize that your writing is not you; put your ego away and concentrate on making your work better.

3. Remind yourself that others have taken a long time to learn how to write. Why it should be any different for you? You have to do your exercises and learn the craft.

4. Take the criticism and apply it. When you accept the criticism, and apply it to your story, your work will get better. You will also start gaining that necessary distance from your work so that you can see – and fix - the flaws before others do.

5. Don’t get distracted by negative thoughts or lack of self confidence. If you’re not in the mood to write, taken a 15 minute break and do something else. When those 15 minutes are up – WRITE!

6. Use good grammar and employ a simple and straightforward style and from now on you will read things in two ways: First, for information. Second, for technique. Words are your tools. You must make them your friends.

7. There are two book endings you must avoid at all costs:

a) It was only a dream, or

b) ....and they were all run over by a truck.

8. If you're a professional writer, writing is your job. So treat it that way for five days a week.

9. Faint of heart won nothing, just as the longest journey begins with the first step.

10. Concentrate on the day, and on the current project. Let the future take care of itself.

Oh, and once you have studied the above thoroughly and finally finished something you have written to a standard you are happy with, submit it along with a query letter to a suitable publication. Then take the following action:

Step 1 - Wait a few weeks or months until they spot your work at the bottom of the slush pile.

Step 2 - Receive rejection slip in the mail and dive into the chocolate tin.

Step 3 - Search for a new publication.

Step 4 - Go back to Step 1 - rinse and repeat.